Dear gentle and hygienic reader,
My name is Kevin and I want to sell you everything I own.
You see - I want drive around the continental United States of America for 180 days. That goal necessitates money. Help me realize my goal.
Once upon a time I was interesting. At least to myself I was. I had stories to tell, and they amused me. I sat on hills and visited railroads and flew to Chicago just to see sharks in tanks. I laughed and yelled and enjoyed. And then I was here. Stuck in the birthplace of zombies and Warhol. The home of Mr. Rogers and the Steelers.
Now I’m paid far too little stare at monitors displaying aged programming. I no longer laugh and I don’t tell stories. My sleep is distressed knowing I’ll wake.
A few days ago my dog died.
I hate it here.
I want to leave.
Buy everything I own.
Buy Kevin’s stuff right here.
Hear about it on Sirius Radio!
At the very least read his story and take a minute to peruse his amazing stuff (his belongings truly are amazing. vintage furniture, authentic Dunkin Donuts rug, taxidermied alligator in a waiter's suit, large screen tv, etc. etc.)
CHECK IT OUT KIDS!