I ended this week truly feeling like I've had a bad week. I've felt stressed out, which, despite a number of irons in the fire, I really shouldn't be as stressed out as I've been feeling. I've felt homesick, on which I blame the summer heat and ensuing cabin fever. Yet when I really look back at my week, it wasn't a bad week at all. My problem wasn't the week, but the folks I surrounded myself with. Between some crabby clients, friends having rough weeks, a friend who constantly complains and is depressed about life, to my sisters and their usual boy/friend/boyfriend dramas, to dramas with parents and just drama in general, I realize now that all that outside negativity really weighed me down. My week may have been slightly stressful, but was in no way a bad week.

This week, I am going to be positive. Not in that obnoxious way that some folks can be, but just generally happy. And I refuse to talk to any friends or family who are down on their lives. I can't handle it. For my own sanity, I need to take a week and break away from the sadness. I want to be there for friends and want to listen and hear them out, but for my own well-being I need to just step back a minute and look at how good my life is. Because my life is pretty darn great! It really is. I have a great job, great friends, a loving (albeit dramatic) family. I have some great opportunities I'm working on, am making use of my talents, which I'm lucky to have quite a few. I make decent money, live in a nice area in a nice apartment and have no reason whatsoever to be down on myself. NONE. YOU HEAR THAT BRAIN?! NONE! (ok, maybe I'm going crazy, but I can live with that).

I am going to run more this week. Eat better. Be more productive. Catch up with friends. Care more. And do my darndest to bring some cheer to my own life and that of others. I think tomorrow I will bake a Tandy Cake to bring in to work on Monday. Nothing starts a week off better than a cake topped with peanut butter and chocolate.


I am creepy

Or supposedly, I have a creepy smile while I sit and work at my desk. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think mostly self-conscious.


Nothing Exciting to See Here Folks

My weekend wasn't overly exciting. Or really exciting at all, but I got a bit accomplished. Some tasks frivolous, some productive. I spent yesterday working on some Lynda stuff. If you're familiar with Lynda.com, you'll know that they offer some seriously top-notch tutorials and are pretty well-known in the design and tech community. Awesomely enough, I got a call last week, thanks to Marc, a co-worker of mine (he's an amazing networker). And this call was from Lynda, asking if I'd be interested in creating an HTML Email-themed tutorial. Which is obvious, since that's what I do all day every day, but still exciting and butterfly-inducing. Needless to say, there's heaps of paperwork, lots and lots to do this week. The gig's not final, they have to see if I'm a fit, but let's just say I'm WAY excited. And WAY nervous, in the best way possible.

Anywho, I spent a good bit of time on that this weekend, and just finished revising a business card design for a friend. I also tweaked my other blog design and twitter theme. Nothing major there. Lots of computer time put in this weekend, and could technically afford to put in more, but my peepers are tired. Much more computer time than I would like for a weekend for sure, but all of it worth it.

In non-technological things, I went to Radnor Lake TWICE this weekend. I hiked all the trails that are open and am sad that South Cove trail is still closed due to flood damage. It's my favorite trail. I am also kicking myself for not bringing a camera either day. It's so beautiful there and I inevitably run into a deer or two or five. One of these days I'll think to bring one.

I also bought some new felt shoes, a button down flower-print shirt and pink T from Target, went to Barnes & Noble to catch up on magazine consumption, Acolyte-ed at church and enjoyed coffee at Fido. All in all a semi-busy and mostly enjoyable weekend. Not very social, but these things happen.

Things I did NOT do:
Clean my apartment
Clean my bathroom
Clean my car out
Work on illustrations
Socialize (well, I did a little bit)

1:18am and I'm just now thinking of bed. This is a habit I should really try and change. Truly.

Sidenote: A friend of mine has talked me into watching Battlestar Galactica. I'm kind of excited to start a new [old] show, regardless of the nerd factor (like that's ever stopped me from doing anything before). I just have to find someone with some DVDs to share and I'm all set. I'm sure I'll post ramblings of it as I go along. And be sure to expect some Dexter Season 4 updates coming in the next month or so. When did I start watching so much TV??? Oy.


Weight Loss, Wellness and a year of BRCA

I'm back on the WW wagon. I'm a bit reticent to mention it this time around, mostly because it's the third time around and I'm trying to lose weight I've lost before. The neverending frustration of the battles of the scales! The good news is this is the best I've done on it so far. I'm down 8.5lb. in 4 weeks and am back to jogging and have actually made it out to hike around Radnor Lake here and there despite the miserable heat. I'm hoping that by September I'll be in prime backpacking shape.

My goal this time around is to lose about 25-30lb. by my birthday, and so far so good. This also spurs from last year's BRCA1 news, which I don't feel like blogging about, and if anyone is actually reading this, chances are they already know that story. My doctor says the best way to decrease my almost imminent chances of breast and/or ovarian cancer is to lose the weight, eat right and exercise. Limit alcohol and just live a healthier life. Following WW pretty much ensures ALL those things happen, and I'm not depriving myself of any major food groups or good times with friends, so it's really a win win way to go.

It's been about a year since the gene testing and almost a year since finding out and I'm just now taking it seriously. I feel like when I found out I was petrified then went into a state of indifference, moved into a state of denial and have now come back around to reason and am taking the issue seriously, with almost 20 extra pounds to deal with. I have my next doctor's appointment at the end of September and am hoping to have shed some pounds by then. She's not the friendliest of doctors and if I can push it in her face (along with the obvious benefits of living healthier) I'll be a happy camper.

This time around on WW I'm going the meetings route, and while at times it feels like I'm in an AA meeting for fat people, it's a nice support group and everyone there is so happy and motivating. Some of the folks there (women AND men) have lost 150-200 or more pounds and it's so awesome to hear their stories and how their lives have been changed. Regardless of the weight loss issues, it's nice to be around such positive people. It makes me happy to hear how people change their lives for the better. Too many people live in their excuses (I'm no exception on various topics) and it's really great to see people stand up for themselves and live their lives to the fullest.

Anywho, I'm not to a weight yet where I actually feel like I've accomplished anything, but I'll be there soon enough. I keep trying to visualize myself being 25lb. lighter by the end of October and will be so amazed/ecstatic/thrilled/excited to actually reach that goal. 28 isn't really a big number, no major importance, but one year closer to 30 and I plan on going in to my 30s with more gusto than imaginable, cancer-threats be damned!


Midnight Oil. And Then Some.

It's 1:30am and I'm sadly wide awake. Rather than laying in bed with my eyes shut as I tried doing for almost an hour, I'm instead surfing around the internet.

I'm in a bit of a learning mode lately. Watched a web design tutorial on Lynda.com, reading up on HTML5 , experimenting with some illustration projects and pattern creations, and now downloading Moveable Type. On the non-digital front I had a 7 hour one-on-one pastry class today at Flyte (more on that story at my other blog later this week). I'm thinking the fact that I ate 4 croissants and a cupcake today could attribute to the not-being-able-to-sleep ordeal. And to combat the sugary baked good overload and sleeping issues as of late, I plan on running tomorrow and possibly taking a kickboxing class. I think if I get myself back into a regular workout routine I might be able to get back to some semblance of a normal sleep pattern. At the very least, going to bed past 2am and waking up at 6 should make it easier to fall asleep tomorrow night for sure.