Stagnant. That's how I feel today. I finally got around to cleaning my apartment. This has been on my to-do list for awhile now. I don't just mean tidying up some clutter and doing dishes, I mean the real-deal. Dusting, vacuuming, washing the floor, lint-rolling the couch, cloroxing all countertops and surfaces. The whole shebang. I've made a discovery along the way. Laying all around my apartment were found remnants and articles of my lack of activity. I've noticed numerous books that have gone unread, a few of which are overdue at the library, twice-renewed. An untouched Michael's bag full of paintbrushes, paper and pallete. My unplugged Wacom tablet, dusty design books, crumpled up directions on how to knit a hat next to knitting needles and dusty yarn. A Wok, stir-fry book and Whole Foods bag of jarred Asian sauces in the corner. The bag of Christmas goods from home, still not put away. Posters I've had for months, unframed and still rolled up. Tools yet to be put away after assembling a rowing machine. The battery to my smoke alarm that I've been meaning to put back for ages.
What is the deal with me? I have all these big ideas and no follow-through. Even little mundane tasks, pushed to the side. A mess of intentions, creative aspirations and all thoughts pointing forward. And yet, nothing even gets started and what is put into production never gets finished. It's sad and makes me feel lazy. Which I guess that's what I've been. I have managed to complete all 3 seasons of Arrested Development, the second season of The Office, and have read 2 books, and have slept over 8 hours a night since getting back from PA. Yet creatively, I haven't accomplished a thing. I'm really beginning to disappoint myself. By brain has come to resemble a potato chip. Dried up, crunchy and mostly unhealthy.
So. This means this week I will start and finish one task. I'm not sure which of the many it will be, but I will do SOMETHING to get my brain working. My apartment may be dust-free as of this morning, but the overcrowded cob-webs of my brain need to go as well.
1 comment:
I can very much relate to how you feel, I just clean my place a few days, and it was an absolute organized mess. But I also did the whole shebang, as well as realizing, I am the most creative person I know, and yet still have failed to get my juices flowing. I came across your blog on a 'blog browse' incase you're wondering, just searching for something good to read, and I stopped and read this post of yours. Good on ya!
that is all
-K@!
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