Kevin Patrick Patrick Boyle, whom I consider one of my best friends, and on my top five list of people I've met in my life, has re-joined the personal blogging community! And I am about ten shades of excited. To celebrate this joyous occasion I have come up with a new Ode and dug deep into the archives of my old Xanga journal to retrieve a post circa 2004, ode-ing to my old-time Monopoly buddy.Kevin is an excellent writer and I've missed his writing, his quirky comments, sharp wit, and I just miss Kevin in general. One of the main reasons I enjoy Kevin's friendship is that it is a low-maintenance relationship. We can go months without seeing each other or hearing from each other, but the minute we see or hear from the other it's as if no time has passed. Unfotunately, it's been a LONG time since I've seen him, and the last call I've received was due to a particularly sad event. At any rate, I should probably give him a call this weekend. I digress.
ODE to KEVIN: The Sequel
(this ode is much shorter. My writing skills are not as good as they were in my college days.. not that they were any good back then either)
Kevin is Kevin. He sometimes likes people, but mostly does not. From what I can tell. He is quite intelligent and makes for extremely fulfilling (if not occasionally crude) conversation. His taste for antiques, collectibles, knick-knacks, various doo-hickeys, clothing, books, movies, you-name-it, is impeccable. In being my friend, he has definitely made my life more enjoyable, more entertaining, and more informative.
I love that Kevin will call me up and start the conversation not with a typical greeting, but with a random question. Possibly a string of random questions. "If you could pick any superpower, what would it be" or perhaps a list of "Would-you-rather" questions. Needless to say, a conversation with Kevin is always interesting and a nice break from the regular.
And Kevin, I hate you because it's just too easy. Also, I don't think you're as much of an asshole as I did in 2004. In fact, I don't really consider you one at all. How's that for progress!
And now, from the archives of my old Bonanaz Xanga journal, a treat for you
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
ODE TO KEVIN BOYLE
-(the story of our friendship... upon the request of kevin)-
if i am going to write this entry about kevin then i must be blunt. for you see, with kevin, being fake just doesn't work. i have known kevin since first semester freshman year, when he and my old roomate were actually friends and not sworn enemies. i learned very quickly that with kevin, you have to be very blunt, honest, and to the point. if kevin pisses me off, i tell him, if he disgusts me, i tell him (ahem, condom at the desk), and if for some reason kevin is being nice, then i tell him that too.
of all my friendships i have ever had, my friendship with kevin is by far the most interesting. he is definitely one of the biggest assholes i have ever met (and kev, i say that out of love, not spite) you see, you just have to take the fact that he's an asshole and understand that that's just his personality and not to take it personally. like when he tells me to go down on him, or grabs my ass.. i don't really appreciate it, but it's kevin so it doesn't bother me. that's just how kevin works. he has been known to make people cry and he can turn a friend into an enemy faster than anyone i know. yet at the same time if someone does something he really likes he is always one to complement, like when i complete a design or art project he likes, he'll tell me. he is also the most cultured person i know
kevin has seen more original pieces of artwork from famous artists such as van gogh and picasso (two of my favorites) and has been to more foreign countries than i could ever dream of. he's the only person i know who i can have an hour long conversation about art and literature and yet throughout the entire time watch him "masturbate" his furry green pillow. and then after the conversation has ended he usually comes out with some vulgar comment, farts, asks why i hate him, and then we move on to another conversation topic.
kevin and I not only have extremely similar tastes in art, we also thoroughly enjoy reading. he is a fan of steinbeck and roald dahl as am i (don't forget, you're making me a summer reading list!) .. though one of his most favorites is edward gory. he is obsessed with the muppets and buffy the vampire slayer.. obsessed being a severe understatement. he also likes to make people think he is gay.. he is what one would call a "metrasexual".. aka one who acts like they are gay when really they're straight. it's really quite funny at times. that's one thing about kevin, he can always come up with something hilarious. often raunchy and uncouth, though usually quite funny.
now despite kevin's wierd and often perverted quirks, there are a lot of things that are very good about him. as mentioned previously, he is extremely cultured. he is also extremely organized, which is something i will never be which makes me have a sort of respect for him.. i mean who else can look up any homework assignment ever completed since third grade? it's nuts! also, he helped me to be more comfortable around people.. and i mean being able to be physically close as in standing distance to other people. he would consistently attack me last year and give me huge hugs and would not leave me alone until i would let him give me a kiss on the cheek.. as annoyoing as it was at the time, this really helped me to be more comfortable around other people, though i don't think he realizes that.
one of the best things about being friends with kevin is that even though i can go months without seeing or talking to him, i can go visit him and it's as if i just talked to him the day before. he is a very low maintenance friend and requires very little effort or work to maintain this friendship. i like that. and he also has this uncanny ability to somehow make people want to buy him things.. it's wierd
so overall, kevin's a pretty ok guy. he's disgusting, perverted, and at times a royal pain in the ass and often times overly self centered, yet he's also a good friend that has good taste in art and literature, and can hold a decent conversation and is good at making people laugh (though usually what he makes people laugh about aren't things that should be funny, but that's kevin.) he's definitely someone i hope to be friends with for a long time.. especially since we're "soul mates"
well, kevin, hope you enjoyed this entry.. and no, you may not 'suck my dirty bags' or however it was you phrased that nor will i ever go down on you, and if you grab my ass one more time you will seriously get a knee to the testicles.... in other words kevin, i love you, but not like that..
-enjoy
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